They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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