There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize