I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
