just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
