I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
