Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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