I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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