and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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