went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
