I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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