The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
