Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
