im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
