Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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