Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All the doctor said was why
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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