You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
