2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
