They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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