But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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