i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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