nut hugger
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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