Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
