Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
