You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
