Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
