White coat. Heels.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
