the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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