the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
