I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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