with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
