i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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