come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
