Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
