If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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