i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
