I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
