No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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