yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize