And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
