he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
