We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Couch. On fire.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
