she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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