I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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