I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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