My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
