Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize