the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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