There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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