I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
