how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
