this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
