Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
