where does the pee come out of this thing
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
