It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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