Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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