now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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