Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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