Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm too high and old for this...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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