To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
