Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
