do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
