thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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