just tell him i said nine months
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
